I wrote this on a job application when asked: What makes you an individual?
Him: So what are you into?
Her: Oh you know, not much, just being an individual.
Him: What does that mean?
Her: Just, like, I'm not like anyone else.
Her: Cuz everyone else is sooo boring (& unqualified).
Him: I'm not boring.
Her: Well, not you, but everyone else.
Him: Oh.
Her: Like, I don't want people to fall asleep when they talk to me.
Him: I don't think they would, if they're talking, seems unlikely.
Her: That's why you have to be an individual.
Him: How do you achieve this?
Her: Well, like, by buying obscure records and by thinking the craziest thoughts like what would happen if an alligator and a goat were having dinner and decided to have casual unprotected sex, would they, like, birth a goatagator or what? Like, that shit's crazy!
Him: Yea. I guess. But what is the benefit of being an individual?
Her: It's '09 dude, being different is in. This ain't no commie regime.
Him: Doesn't that make your point moot? If it's in, doesn't it mean it's mass?
Her: What? Mass? Dude I haven't been to church in years.
Him: Hm. Me either.
I did not get the job.
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